Review: Wait No More

Wait No More: One Family's Amazing Adoption Journey (Focus on the Family Books)

By Kelly & John Rosati

I was really excited to see this book on Tyndale's list of books to review and of course jumped on the chance to read about this amazing family's adoption journey. I literally just received this book in the mail yesterday and had it finished by the time I went to bed last night (ok so I stayed up a little longer than my hubby cause I couldn't put it down). It was a great read and so neat how God played such an amazing roll and how he spoke to them and brought each of those children into their homes. This is definitely a book I would recommend to adoptive families as well as those who are considering adoption. If you have ever considered it yourself I say grab a company and read it. I don't know if its because we've been on an adoption journey ourselves but I truly LOVE to read and hear about others stories as well. Definitely a great book and love the way its told. I also really connected with the book because we're also a military family :) so in the end yes I'd recommend this book!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Tyndale as part of their Blogger Review program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."

What Not to Say to Adoptive Parents

I absolutely LOVED this when I saw it and if you're an adoptive parent you probably have similar feelings.

Single Dad Laughing’s Guide to Adoption Etiquette.

1. Never, ever, ever, ask how much a child costs. This includes the phrase, “how much did you pay for him?” First of all, it’s none of your business. Second of all, if you’re interested in adoption, research it through the appropriate channels. Speak with an adoption agency. Adoptive parents don’t purchase children. They simply pay legal fees and agency fees. Just like biological parents pay hospital and doctor bills. Don’t turn the child into nothing more than a commodity.
2. Never ask if a celebrity inspired the adoption. Believe it or not, Tom Cruise, Connie Chung, and Angelina Jolie did not convince me one way or the other in the biggest decision of my life. Are you serious?
3. Never ask “where is his real dad?” Forget the fact that it will hurt my feelings. How do you think it will affect my son’s feelings to feel like I’m not a real dad to him? Adoptive parents are real parents. The term you’re looking for is “birth mother” or “birth father”.
4. Don’t say things like, “as soon as you adopt you’re going to get pregnant” when you find out somebody is adopting. First of all, there are usually many, many years of pain and financial burden strapped to infertility, treatments, and heartache. Do you really think that what you’re saying will help them? Secondly, while it is funny when it happens, it’s rare.
5. Never say, “why did she give him away?” Do I really need to explain why this one would hurt a child? The proper term is “placed”. A birth mother and birth father place their child for adoption. And again, it’s personal and none of your business, so don’t ask if you aren’t my BFF.
6. Don’t say, “it’s like he’s your real son”. This is similar to number three, but worthy of mentioning. He is my real son, damn it.
7. Don’t say, “do you love him as if he was your own?” Ummm… probably more than you love your little terror, that’s for sure. And again… he is my own, damn it.
8. Never say things like, “you’re so wonderful to adopt a child”. I am a parent. Just like anybody else with kids.
9. Don’t start spewing your horrible adoption stories. “This one time, my friend’s sister’s aunt’s dog’s previous owner’s niece adopted a baby and the real dad came back and they took the baby away after they had him for two years.” First of all, it probably isn’t true. Second of all, how would you feel if I told you about all the ways you could lose your child. Adoption is permanent. And in the extremely rare circumstances that something like that happens, it’s not something you should spread because the hurt that exists for all the parties involved must be immeasurable.
10. Don’t say things like, “is it hard for him to be adopted?” Well, it wasn’t, until you asked me that right in front of him you freaking idiot.
11. I don’t want to hear about your second cousin who was on a waiting list for twelve years and never got a baby. Granted, this one was much more annoying when we were going through the adoption process. Nobody wants to know that some people never get chosen. Show some kindness. Even to ugly people.

This came from a blog post titled: How much did Your kid cost? feel free to click the link to read the whole article. I personally loved it!

Beautiful Songs

If you have ever struggled with getting pregnant or found out that you never could carry a child this song is amazing about our struggle and trials. It really tears me up since it hits so close to home. Although I did feel like this at one time its not currently how I feel anymore I just remember the feelings and memories. I am a mommy now to the most amazing baby boy there is! I do feel truly blessed to have such an amazing child and we are a family finally! I love you baby boy! Thank you God for finding us worthy to raise such an amazing little person!






This song makes me cry like a little baby because I know my own baby boy will feel like this one day. It breaks my heart to think that he may one day believe his birthmom just gave him away but we will go through life trying to let him know how much she truly loved him and what she did was one of the most selfless acts a mother could ever do! This song was written by an adoptee for his birthmom when he finally understood what she did for him. It is one of the most amazing and beautiful songs I have heard. It will seriously bring you to tears!





This is about the making of the song Everything to Me by Mark Schultz (song above). Just simply amazing. Adoption is amazing! I hope my son knows how much both of his moms loved him as he grows :)

Happy Mother's Day!!!

I just wanted to wish all the moms out there a Happy Mother's Day!

I also wanted to say congratulations to all of you new mommy's through adoption! I know the process is long and tiring and the waiting stinks but its so worth it in the end! Congrats and enjoy your first mother's day with your little bundle of joy! Just like I will be!

Baby boy is the greatest mother's day gift of all!!!

One Week Left In Italy

k so we don't literally have one week left in Italy. I believe its about two years before we move on to our next duty station, but it is only one week before we leave Italy for the states! Next week is our last week of preparting to leave and getting our house ready for our newest addition! I seriously can't be anymore excited without probably exploding! Even my hubby is super excited about our future little man and he can't hide it anymore! It really is the cutest thing ever!

We (I think) are ready for this trip and to finally become parents. We honestly couldn't imagine building our family any other way and can't wait to begin on this adoption journey with our little man. We are also talking about doing it again in a couple of years, but we're actually thinking about doing an international adoption this time around! Wow, right?!? Adoption is definitely something you have to be called to do. Many people who cannot have children will never turn down this path, but so many more will and it really is one of the most amazing journeys! I'm am beyond thrilled that we have so many amazing people around us being so super supportive of our decision and of all those who are adopting/adopted and truly understand our calling to build our family in this manner! Thank you God for allowing us to have such amazing and inspirational people in our lives! Thank you God for giving us loving and caring friends that have been so supportive of this all!

When we do get to the states it will be about 5 days before her due date! Please pray that he comes close to his due date! We can't wait to meet this little man! We will most definitely post pics of him as soon as we can because I know many of you can't wait to see/meet him as well!

His nursery is almost done and ubber cute and doesn't really have a theme LOL. I do want to get a book shelf you know one of those small ones for all the books I've gotten for him this far and I think my sister may even have more books for him! Ok so here are some pics of things that I've bought or have been given to us by amazing people!

This was given to us from another momma. Isn't it super cute? I love all things aircraft related! Maybe that has something to do with my 6 years in the Air Force or maybe being an Air Force Wife LOL.

She also gave us these adorable little shoes! They look brand new but I guess babies don't really walk! She also gave us a bag full of clothes that were super cute and in amazingly good condition and the bag also had the cutest little brown boots in it! She was super nice and we're very thankful that she gave us all these baby clothes!

We also got another bag of stuff from another AF momma! Thank you! I think he is pretty set on clothes other than just cutesy things we want to buy for him! Which of course we have started buying and my family has as well!

Every baby deserves to have the cutest set of first booties ever! These are the ones I choose for our little man! I bought them off etsy (which I love etsy) and thought they would be ubber cute with his little football outfit (which I'm praying he fits into since its a newborn size).

I'm sure we have so many other things I haven't posted for baby boy but I'm sure you'll see them in pictures and what not!

Please keep us in your prayers and we soon begin our journey into parenthood!

Love you guys!

**Adoption Info.**

I know there are a lot of  you cuirous about adoption and some over here (here being Italy) that would like to pursue adoption. I will try to explain our process and add in some links that will hopefully be helpful to you.

The first step in adoption is deciding your budget. Adoption can be very pricey especially depending on you decide to adopt. Foster care adoption is definitely one of the more affordable ways to adopt.

The second step is to decide which sort of adoption you would like to pursue. There are basically three kinds. One being foster care adoption. There is acutally two ways you can adopt through the foster care system. You can actually become a foster care parent and foster to adopt or you can just adopt legally free children from the foster care system. A second way to adopt is internationally. Adopting this way you have to decide on a country you would like to adopt from (such as China, Ukraine, Ethiopia, etc.) and find an adoption agency that works internationally. From what I've seen this can be a very long process, but I cannot go into depth because it was not the way we chose to go. The third way would be a domestic adoption also know as an infant adoption. This is where your have a profile (a letter to the birthparent, pictures, etc.) shown to expectant mothers who are making and adoption plan. You have to wait until you are matched.

Once you decide to adopt you have to find an adoption agency that fits your needs. You can actually contact your state for the foster care system and some agencies actually work with the foster care system as well for placements. I believe this is one of the most important steps. Finding an adoption agency that works well with you and your family will make all the difference and will make or break your adoption plan.

Being a military family stationed overseas it was truly hard to find an adoption agency that would give us the time of day. We had Christian adoption agencies be sincerely mean to us and we were utterly surprised at their reaction. We had others lead us on and made us believe that they'd work with us and they just ignored us. And yet others who wouldn't even respond or give us the time of day. We were lucky enough to find a few that would work with us though and I'm sure there are even more out there that will but these are the three that we came across:

1. The Adoption Center of Choice and our adoption specialist is Dave Williams. He is seriously a great guy and really great to work with. I feel blessed to be working with such amazing people. This adoption agency is in Utah and they have an outreach program for African American adoptions (so no application fee or activation fee). This is the program we joined in January and we were matched with a baby boy March 12. They also work with military families overseas!

2. Heart to Heart Adoptions this agency I have really had to the chance to work with, but they too will also work with military families overseas. They have been super helpful and super nice as well. We just signed with them the week we before we found out we had a match. The also have an African American infant program that is free to get activated in and that is also the program we joined.

3. American Adoptions this agency works with military familes overseas as well. They are a bigger agency and that may be why sometimes you don't get answers right away, but I was sort of disappointed with them. Although a couple here in Italy did adopt their baby girl through them and they had an amazing experience, so I wouldn't cross them off the list. They do have a $195 application fee and a $1,000 activation fee for thier African American infant program which they call Agency Assisted program. They do waive a ton of fees and build your profile for free if you do use this program.

Once you do decide on your agency then you have to get a homestudy. Many agencies have people who can actually do your homestudies and in the states its super easy to find someone to do one. But if you're in a whole other country trying to find someone licensed in the states its a bit harder. We found Randy Barlow. He is located in Germany and is super great. He literally travels all over the world doing homestudies so that not only military overseas can adopt, but all Americans living abroad can adopt. Its super neat to hear his stories and of all the children he's gotten to see placed over the years!

Once you get your agency picked out, agency paperwork filled out and your homestudy done the waiting game has begun. Some will wait what seems like forever for thier match or referral letter and others seem to get a match as soon as they are shown, but this is the hardest part of the adoption! Waiting, talking to potential birthmothers and just not knowing when you will finally be a family!

As for when you get that phone call everyone will react differently. I can honestly say I was in shock and speechless! I know soooo unlike me! I always have something to say, but how would you react when you get that phone call at 0130 saying that your son is going to be born next month? As many of you know as soon as the shock wore off I've been super excited ever since and probably can't stop talking about our future baby boy!

I am still learning the placement part as we are still going through it, but I know that everyones will differ. That every state has a different amount of time to sign papers and how many post placement visits you need. Some will have contact with their birthmothers while others will never meet but its soooo interesting to hear each adoption story! I know this was a very brief description about what we have gone through this far and it really is such an emotional time. I don't even if I can describe it, but this is our journey so far filled with paperwork and unknowing.

We are pretty much an open book though so feel free to ask any questions you may have and I will try to answer them to the best of my knowledge :).

We have a match!

Ok so I deleted the adoption page I had going because it was all girly and had pink stuff on it, but as you can see God had a completely different plan in mind!

We are excited to say that we have been matched with a birthmom. The baby is due next month! Can you believe how fast that was?!?! We couldn't. I don't think we've slept soundly since we found out! We've been super anxious and excited and nervous and every other emotion you could possibly have!

We fly out of Italy the beginning of next month and should hopefully be home by the middle of May.

Our wonderful friend Rhysa is going to watch my evil Chihuahua Peanut and we are still trying to figure out what to do with our other rat dogs. Maybe beg the neighbors to watch them LOL.

I do have the crib set up but the room is still a disaster. I need to sterilize bottles and wash diapers and there is just so much to do and so little time! I will take pics of what we've done so far and post them tomorrow.

This is going to be his first outfit home. Isn't it tiny and adorable?

We are super beyond excited though!

If you would like to help us out with travel and finalization costs please donate at (it works through paypal):
http://kellyshoup.chipin.com/the-shoups-adoption.

I would like to thank all the people who have donated so far. I'd also like to make a huge public THANK YOU to the bestest friend in the whole wide world! She donated a huge sum to make this adoption possible! We LOVE you JENNIFER!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

Look its a little stuffed Peanut going to sleep with baby boy! The mobile is a froggy mobile and I'm going to tell baby boy its his Auntie Meghan and Uncle Tommy and thier future children LOL.

The blue blanket on the back was handmade by our friend Sonja who lives in Michigan.

The crib was given to us by our friend and my hubby's coworker Sanchez. We love it!

The crib set I just got and its froggies! How cute, right?!?!

This has to be like the coolest baby swing ever! We got this from our good friends Rhysa and Codie. Thier brand new little boy also has the same sing. What is super cool about this swing is that it lifts and its a rocker and then a rocking chair when they get older! A three in one how cool is that?!?!

This is the glider we found for 50 bucks on the classifieds. Great deal right?!?! We thought so and of course I had to boy it up and represent for my Dallas Cowboys!

We are cloth diapering! This is one of the brands that we currently have. Its called Nubunz are are adorable (http://www.nubunz.com/). I actually have this color and love it! I still need wash them all though boo laundry LOL. I bought these in both velcro and snaps. They are one size fits all and come with two inserts.

This is the other brand we bought Kawaii diapers. They are a bit different than the Nubunz but I hope they are both nice! These are just snaps. I ordered some velcro from them and I'm still waiting on them! I think they must of gotten lost in the mail either way I'm pretty upset by it. (http://www.theluvyourbaby.com/).